The Expat Diaries: Chapter Two

I remember the day I left. The evening sky. The bustling market. The sounds I wouldn’t hear again.

It was the day it sunk in that life as I knew it would no longer exist. It’s a strange feeling knowing the countdown has begun. Every moment you feel now as a part of your routine will probably be the last.

I was trying to absorb what was happening around me. Yet everything was so rushed that it was difficult to capture every moment as time flew by.

While I was getting my hair done, I was thinking about my flight tickets and what I need to keep in my handbag. While I was on the way back, I was wondering if my phone is charged enough and if I’ve bought everything I need to last me the first few weeks.

The last few moments always go by in a blur. With any big change, you can feel it happening months before leading up to it. Even weeks maybe. But the days closest to it? Those fly. And it’s only later you how everything felt back then.

I remember the dinner cooked so lovingly as I’d embark on a new journey. Praying in front of god my usual prayer. Eating curd and sugar as is the norm or auspicious thing to do. Attending a flurry of calls as relatives called to wish me luck. Clicking a final selfie with loved ones right before I boarded the cab. Looking up at the terrace, my solace – the all too familiar place. Waving to my family from the window and smiling. Smiling even though my heart was beating so fast within.

And as the cab starting moving, finally turning my head to look forward, ahead at the road that would lead me to the airport.

It was time to catch my flight.

I did what I do every time I need to zone out and keep my emotions under control – plug in my earphones, open Apple Music and listen to fast-paced songs. From Linkin Park to EDM, the music that could drown out my thoughts was the one.

The cab ride was slow yet surprisingly fast. As street lights flashed by, my feelings were covered by a layer of numbness. A feeling like I’m seeing my life unfold as an observer.

The cab slowing down as we approached the airport, the signboard as the road curved and the lights of the terminal appeared in sight. The split moment when I took out my phone to record the final drive up the airport road till the front of the terminal.

I exited the cab and managed to get a picture clicked with my big bags. The little girl who had once dreamt of going back to Europe was finally doing it.

That picture is still vivid in my mind. Sparing a second in between the madness to record a moment. A memory to cherish for years to come.

The girl who has waited for her time for years. And now, that time had finally come.

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Photo credit: Rachita Verma (that’s me)